


Crossed

by IntoBeyondDarkness



Category: Gravity Falls, Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Action/Adventure, Competition, Crush at First Sight, Gen, Humor, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-20 04:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntoBeyondDarkness/pseuds/IntoBeyondDarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A trip to the Tri State Area for a Swap Meet turns into an adventure for Mabel and Dipper, meanwhile Stan has some competition and Agent P has two VERY unexpected new recruits. Gravity Falls/Phineas and Ferb crossover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Roadtrip

"Road trip! Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!" Mabel chanted, bumping both her fists in the air.

Dipper groaned in his seat in the back of the car. "I don't know about you Mabel but I'm not really up for a surprise road trip at five in the morning…why're we even going on a surprise road trip in the first place? Where are we going?"

"Grunkle Stan said we're going to this Swap Meet in a place called The Tri State Area." She waved her fingers mysteriously and then smiled "He can sell ridiculous things at high prices!"

"Another scam, huh?" The boy rolled his eyes.

"It's not a scam." Stan glared once he got in the driver's seat, he had just finished loading up a sign that read 'Scam Stand' into the trunk. "It's a reasonable business trip…" A pause. "Hey does this look like an antique to you?" He held up a broken and dirty lamp.

Dipper sighed and laid down in his seat "Wake me up when we get there." He closed his eyes but he didn't sleep for a second between Mabel singing show tunes and his great uncle thinking of prices for his junk out loud. Hours had passed and they finally pulled to a stop. The Tri State Area sure was far away from where they lived.

"We're here." Their uncle said and started unpacking things from his car.

Mabel squealed and unbuckled her seat belt "Isn't this exciting Dipper? A whole new place! It's so BIG!"

He sat up from his lying position and unbuckled his seatbelt, staring out the window at the large buildings. This place sure was different from where they lived…

"What are you waiting for?!" His sister asked him "Let's go!"

Before Dipper had a chance to protest, he was being pulled out of the car and dragged into the Swap Meet. Grunkle Stan started setting up his stand.

"Hey Grunkle Stan, who's watching the shack back at our place?" Dipper asked.

"Oh don't worry, Soos is watching it for me. He said he'd guard it with his life." Stan waved it off.

...

 

*At the Mystery Shack.*

 

Lil Gideon's father tiptoed past a sleeping Soos who was leaning up against the outside of the Shack. He opened a window and snuck in, he fell inside with a loud crash. Soos stirred but didn't awaken.

...

*Back in Danville.*

 

"I'd better call Wendy…just in case." Dipper started dialing on his cell phone that I'm assuming he has. Wendy answered and the two started talking, his voice faded in Mabel's ears as she spotted something orange and teal on all fours.

"Woah…" She was amazed by the little creature, she'd never seen one before. It was so cool! "Dipper, look at that!"

"Yeah…Hang on a sec Mabel…" Was his distracted reply to his sister as he continued with his phone call.

Mabel gasped when she saw it stand up on two legs and put on a hat. It started running and she just had to follow it. She walked off in the direction it went.

"Alright, thanks bye." He pocketed his phone and turned to his uncle. "Wendy said she'd check up on Soos later."

"Huh? Yeah sure whatever…" Stan replied as if he could care less and continued setting up his stand.

"Okay Mabel now what was it you wanted to show me? Mabel?" Dipper turned to the spot where his sister had once been to see that she wasn't there anymore "Mabel?" He turned around just in time to see her running full speed down the street, he sighed and ran after her; calling her name. Yep, this was going to be a fun day.

 

...

 

Perry ran faster down the street. He was being chased and he didn't know by what or who. He had put on his fedora and gotten the feeling that he was being watched. He started running and that's when he knew something was following him. He heard the footsteps fall closer behind him, the platypus turned a corner and soon he was running for his life. The agent came to the conclusion that whatever was chasing him wasn't more than 4 feet tall so it wasn't a man or woman from LOVEMUFFIN...Unless Dr. Diminutive was the one chasing him, but Dr. Diminutive was scared of him. Why would the small man be chasing him all alone if he were scared of him? There were only two small feet behind him so they were standing on their hind legs and that also let him know that it was only one individual after him. It couldn't be an animal, at least no animal he knew. Every once in a while it would make this feminine squealing noise. What was this horrid thing and why was it after him?

"Come back!"

Oh mother of platypi, it talks!

 

…

 

"Mabel!" Dipper called and ran after her. Why on earth was she running?

 

…

 

"Come back!" Mabel yelled after the thing, her own scream covered up her brothers so she didn't hear him calling after her. She was tired but she couldn't let it go, it was all alone! Who would help it? She followed the little blue animal until an oddly shaped and large purple building was in sight. It looked like one of those buildings that owned a large company. Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated? What type of company was that?

They were right in front of the building now and with all the energy she had left, she jumped and tackled the thing to the ground.

"Got you!" She smiled.

"MABEL!"


	2. Captured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh...short.. =/

"MABEL!"

"Hey Dipper!" Mabel called "Look what I found!" She still hadn't noticed that they both tumbled into the middle of a street.

Dipper was frantically pointing and screaming but she couldn't hear him over the horn of the oncoming truck.

"What?!" She strained to hear her brothers desperate calls.

Luckily, Perry was looking straight ahead and saw the oncoming vehicle. The platypus used all his strength and rolled them onto the side walk just as the truck rushed by. The girl got up and hugged the small animal, nuzzling her face in the back of his neck lovingly.

"Mabel!" Her brother ran up to her. "Are you alright? Don't run away like that! You almost-!" Dipper stepped back in horror and screamed when she turned around. What is that thing?! "Mabel, what is that thing?!" He pointed to the struggling blue animal in his sister's arms.

"Isn't it adorable? It's all alone! Can we keep him?" Mabel held the mammal in a death grip.

"We don't even know what it is…" Dipper told her and then raised his eyebrow "How do you know it's a boy?"

"I checked." She chuckled in a low voice, hugging the animal closer and swaying side to side happily.

Perry stopped squirming to look at her like she was insane, the boy did the same and shook his head "We have to find its owners."

"But Dipper! Can't we just keep him? Please? I care about him!" Mabel pleaded.

"I'm sure someone else cares about him and is worried sick trying to find him. I'll tell you what; if we don't find its owner then maybe we can convince Grunkle Stan to bring him back with us."

"I can't wait until we take you home! You can sleep on Dipper's bed!" She cooed.

Dipper leaned forward with an eye roll to check the animals collar for tags "Mabel, what did I just say? We have to try and find its owners first, that's the main thing right now…..wait why would it have to sleep on my bed? Why can't it sleep on yours?" He scowled and crossed his arms.

She looked at him like he was stupid and rolled her eyes "Everyone knows animals are dirty, Dipper! Why would I want a dirty animal sleeping on my bed? You can be so stupid sometimes!"

Perry narrowed his eyes and growled lowly to himself. They're calling  _him_ a dirty animal? When was the last time this girl washed her hands?

"Oh so it's okay if a dirty animal sleeps on my bed….but not on yours?"

"Uh huh."

"And why is that?"

"Your bed's already a mess, not to mention there was already a goat on it so it wouldn't matter!"

"Oh yeah? Well-!"

The platypus watched the twins go back and forth at each other and he couldn't take the bickering anymore. During the argument the girl loosened her grip on him so he jumped up, doing a flip out of her arms and landing in a crouch in front of them. The kids gasped and stared at him in amazement, Hm dirty animal indeed…

"Wow! It knows tricks too! Best pet ever!"

"Hang on a second Mabel…I've read about this once before. Look at this!" He handed her a comic.

"Agent of the OWCA…" She murmured out loud. "Isn't this that lame comic subscription you made Grunkle Stan order for you? About the zoo with hats?"

"No! Don't you see? He's a secret agent! A real life animal cop! Oh man, this is so cool!" Dipper beamed, pulling out a notepad and paper "Can I have your autograph?"

"I'm not buying it." Mabel crossed her arms and shook her head in disagreement "You expect me to believe that this cute little gumdrop…" She clasped her hands together adoringly and squealed, then put her hands on her hips in a more serious manner "Is a crime fighting, butt kicking cop? He couldn't hurt a fly!"

Perry decided to prove a point and grabbed the boy by the hand, flipping him over onto his back. Dipper grimaced in pain and Mabel looked down at him, and then turned her head away.

"Nope, still not buying it…"

* * *

 

Stan blew the dust off of his sign and put it on the front side of his table. He whistled and took his seat at his 'Scam Stand'. He looked across from him and his eyes threatened to explode out of his glasses.

"Gideon?"

There he was, little old him himself. Lil Gideon smiled at the crowd of people marveling him. He looked over and smirked at his neighbor.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Stan Pines himself."

"Gideon." The man glared and spoke his name in disgust.

"What are you doing here this fine summer evenin'?"

"I should be asking you the same thing."

"I just figured I'd take my business elsewhere for once, you know? Take a little trip."

"You followed me here didn't you, you little pip squeak?! Just to steal my business, admit it!"

"I will admit to no such thing, but I  _will_  say this." Gideon smirked evilly "Let the better scam win."

"It's on pipsqueak!"

Both competitors glared each other down, not daring to show fear.

* * *

 

Perry helped the boy up, seeing as he proved nothing to the dimwitted girl.

"Thanks." Dipper thanked him and earned a nod. "Hey, can you teach me how to do that?"

The platypus shook his head no.

Mabel continued to ramble on and on about the pros and cons of having an animal work for you, she made sure to include the fact that they might pee on the couch. Her brother was about to interrupt when some large and metallic thing hovered over them. The two males stared up at it and the girl had her back turned to the thing.

In the next moment they were lifted off their feet and being carried into the building, Dipper screaming the whole way there.


	3. Mabel!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, where's...?

" _Oh, I can see, what others can't see_

_It ain't some sideshow trick_

_Its innate ability_

_Where others are blind, I am future-ly inclined_

_And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!"_

Stan glared at all the people crowded around Gideon's makeshift 'Tent of Telepathy'. He needed to kick the little jerk's scam down a notch and kick his  _up,_ but how?

* * *

 

Dipper screamed as the giant robot man picked them all up by their feet. Perry flinched and covered his ears because the boy was screaming right in his ear and Mabel went on about how cool this was.

They were carried up the stairs and briefly in the elevator until they reached the penthouse floor. The robot- instead of using the door in front of them – chose to burst through the wall beside the door leaving a large hole in his shape.

"WHO'S HUNGRY? I BROUGHT LUNCH!"

"They're going to  _EAT_ us?!" The brown haired boy exclaimed in horror.

"Norm! How many times do I have to tell you?!" A high pitched and squeaky voice yelled and came into the room "USE THE DOOR!" He was 6 foot 2 and had a noticeable slouch, a long nose and dark bags under his eyes. The man wore a black turtleneck underneath a pure white lab coat and large hands. "Oh hello." He said nicely, finally taking notice of them and then angrily turning back to the robotic man "I told you to bring Perry the Platypus here! Why'd you bring me two children? Do platypuses…platypi…platypeople? Oh whatever! Do platypuses look like children to you? Do I need to check your squirrel again?!"

Dipper didn't even want to know what that last part meant; he was already disturbed and confused beyond belief. What the heck was happening here?

"HERE HE IS, DAD." Norm exclaimed and turned his fist so that the platypus showed.

"Oh, there you are Perry the Platypus! I was looking for you!" He smiled and then put his hands on his hips in an angry manner "How come I had to send Norm out to bring you here? Did you not  _want_ to thwart me? Is that it? You're a real jerk, Perry the Platypus! I hope you know that!"

The boy just watched the scientist talk to the animal. Apparently it was a platypus, who knew? Anyways, he was talking to it like it was an equal and not just a dumb and mindless animal. Dipper smiled. It amazed him how such a seemingly mindless animal could do so much. This man must be his nemesis and they must have stopped him from doing his job. He knew that magazine wasn't a waste of money! (Although it  _was_ really expensive) Half thinking about what he was doing, he pulled out a camera and snapped a photo of the two with a flash. The man stopped mid-argument and remembered the two children were there, turning to them he suddenly asked "Who are you two again?"

"I'm Dipper and this is my sister-"

"MABEL!" Mabel smiled.

"Yeah, Mabel." The boy rolled his eyes.

"Okaaaay, what are you doing here?"

"Norm is it?" Dipper turned to the robot man for confirmation.

"I'M NORM."

"Alrighty then." The boy nodded " _Norm_  sort of grabbed us and brought us here so if you could please let us all go we'd be able to get back to the-"

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah!" The doctor pushed his hands outward repeatedly "Woah…" He paused and then continued calmly "I'm not letting you go."

"Why not?"

"Agents don't leave until  _AFTER_ the machine explodes and the scientist is left cursing after them."

Oh right, he read about the whole routine thing in the comic book. Apparently all the evil guys were strict about that part.

"So when are you going to let us go?" Mabel asked, still clueless about the whole situation.

"I'm  _not_ going to let you go." The man told them and the girl lost it.

"You're not going to what now? You can't just keep us trapped here forever! I can't stay here, I have a pig at home!" The girl flailed in the robots hand hopelessly "LET US GO RIGHT NOW!"

"I didn't say you'd be trapped here forever. You'll just be trapped until you escape and destroy my invention. That's what agents  _do_. What are you new recruits or something?"

That's it! He thought they were agents! Of course! Dipper face palmed his forehead.

"But we're not-MMPH!" Her mouth was covered by her brother and he chuckled nervously.

"You got us! We are totally new recruits! Couldn't pull the wool over your eyes Doctor…I'm sorry I didn't catch your name." The boy shook his head.

"Well look who's being formal." The man said and glared at his nemesis "He's a lot more polite than  _you_ are you know. I bet  _he_ wouldn't be late to our daily nemesis confrontations."

Perry rolled his eyes.

The scientist hmph'd and walk over to pull a sheet off of a large contraption "BEHOLD! My Twin Relocate-inator! With this I will separate all twins! When a twin is blasted they will be teleported someplace else! (This isn't like my 'Go Home-inator' though; it doesn't blast you home, it probably blasts you to another dimension or something…I don't know) That way they'll be alone and no one will know that they're twins because they're not together! It's foolproof and will lead me to being the ruler of this place!"

Dipper was not only amazed by how coincidental this was but he was confused as well and raised an eyebrow questioningly "How will separating twins lead you to becoming the ruler of this place?"

"Oh right! I forgot the backstory! Well…my brother Roger is the mayor and he's currently dating these two hot twins…and when I say hot I say  _hot_. With this machine I will blast both twins so that Roger is left with no one! He'll be really depressed and leave office, and when that happens I will step in and take the position of mayor for my own! I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz will finally rule the ENTIRE TRI STATE AREA!" Doofenshmirtz- as they now know he's named –threw his arms out dramatically.

Mabel laughed hysterically and snickered, covering her mouth with her hand "What kind of name is THAT? It's so stupid!"

Heinz scowled at her "Sure, go ahead and laugh now! You won't be laughing when I'm the new leader! I just need a test subject…" He rubbed his chin in thought "Now where am I going to find twins…?"

It was too late for Dipper to stop her because she already spilled the beans.

"It's a bad thing  _we're_ twins." She nudged him with her elbow "Right Dipper?"

"Mabel!" Dipper groaned at her.

"Whoops." Mabel chuckled "It slipped…"

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz was having an epiphany. "Of course…" He stepped closer and examined their faces, pinching the boy's cheeks. "How did I not see it before? You two are twins! Haha! This is great! Well when I say great, it's great for me. Not so much for you two." The scientist aimed the inator at the boy and got ready to press the button "Say goodbye to your sibling!"

Dipper closed his eyes and waited for a blast to fire in his face, instead there was a click and the twins fell to the ground with an 'oof'. He opened his eyes to see that Mabel was lying next to him and Perry had disconnected some wires in the robot man's wrist.

"OUCH, CAN I GET A BANDAGE?"

"No, you can't get a bandage you glorified waffle iron! Get them!" Doof yelled.

"OKAY DAD." Norm said and began chasing the twins around the lab.

He grabbed his sister's hand and they both ran in circles around the lab, away from the giant robot man. The platypus was fighting Doofenshmirtz, throwing punches and dodging hits and kicking with flips.

"Wow…" Dipper exclaimed, his full attention on the dynamic agent.

"Dipper! Look in front of you!"

"What?" He asked and turned his head, they both ran into some big machine face first. The Pines twins slid down onto the floor, rubbing their aching faces.

Perry knocked the scientist into the machine and his hand accidentally pressed the activation button. The man murmured an 'oops' before it fired. The beam hit Mabel and she was gone.

"Mabel!" Dipper cried in horror "MABEL!" Tears dripped down the boy's face, his sister was gone! What was he going to tell Grunkle Stan?

* * *

" _So welcome all ye... to the Tent of Telepathy_

_And thanks for visiting... widdle ol' me!"_

...

He  _had_ to get those people away from that tent and to his own stand. The only question was how he was going to do it. This called for a sabotage montage! Spy music played as a montage played of Stan messing with Gideon's shows.

He climbed up a ladder above the stage ready to dump a bucket of dirt and worms on the short star. He smiled in triumph as he dumped it. A hard wind blew the contents of the bucket back in his face. As Gideon went on with his show, Stan was in the background running around in a panic. He was covered in worms and dirt.

…

Stan attempted to climb a beam in the tent and detach a sand bag to fall on Gideon. He got up about six inches and his butt made a squeaking noise as it slid pathetically back down the pole.

…

He stood in the back of the crowd and threw a tomato at the stage, it rebounded from a wooden pole and hit him straight in the face.


	4. The Final Straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon is kind of done...

Gideon sang to the crowd, some familiar faces were present.

_You wish your boyfriend wasn't so dense~_

Phineas continued to clap along to the beat and Isabella placed her hands on her hips.

_Your brothers build things quite intense…_

Candace nodded angrily.

_You need more romance in your life…_

Lawrence sighed, glancing at his wife.

_You do things out of spite~_

Buford shrugged.

_Your brother's quite a loon._

Roger Doofenshmirtz smiled.

_You sir, are a baboon…_

Agent Baboon threw his fedora down and stomped away from the crowd.

_You love your watermelon…_

The woman holding a watermelon rubbed it lovingly.

_You are quite the felon…_

Dr. Diminutive looked smug.

_You are the Regurgitator…_

"THE WORLD IS MY NEMESIS!"

_And you, kind of hate her…_

Suzy glared daggers at Candace.

_I could go on forever, but that wouldn't be so clever~_

_So I must stop this show~_

_You're mother's quite a-_

The audience gasped and everyone's mouths were agape at the next word that escaped Lil Gideon's mouth. Gideon was even shocked as he stared down at his karaoke board that was hidden from anyone's view but his. Okay that  _WAS NOT_ supposed to happen!

Stan whistled to get the little man's attention and winked at him. The white haired boy turned and gasped, growing increasingly angry and starting to perspire. "You  _will_ pay for this Stanford Pines!  ** _YOU. WILL. PAY_**!"

* * *

**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporateeeeed!**

"Hey kid, are you alright?" Doof asked and got no answer.

Perry crossed his arms and glared at the doctor.

Doofenshmirtz looked outraged "Oh, of course you pin the blame all on me! Why would you bring children here in the first place? You're not a good babysitter Perry the Platypus! You're not!"

Dipper continued to weep. His sister was destroyed right in front of his eyes, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn't even help her! What type of twin brother was he? He had to be the worst brother in the whole universe! "I am the worst brother in the whole universe…" He murmured to himself, loudly enough to be overheard.

The scientist scoffed, muttering "That title's already been taken…"

"By who?" The boy looked up.

"By  _my_ brother Roger. I swear, I  _hate_ that guy. Plus none of this is your fault."

"Yes it is! I was supposed to watch her and protect her! She's my sister! That's my job, and I blew it! Now she's gone forever…" Dipper's gaze returned to the floor.

"Wait, you think…?" Doofenshmirtz started laughing, wiping a tear from his eye as the boy glared, silently demanding what was so funny.

"What's so funny?" Dipper glared. (Or not)

"You think your sister's dead, right?"

The boy glanced in both directions, readjusting his cap and feeling uncomfortable "Well, yeah…"

"She's not dead, you idiot! She was just transported someplace else! I would never kill anyone! Do you think I'm that cold?"

The platypus raised an eyebrow and Doof scowled "Okay, so I tried to destroy you on multiple occasions, you act like it's a crime! Well, it's not! You're an animal, they're human, it's a big difference!"

The agent sighed, they weren't really in the situation for corrections on the fact that killing animals  _was_ a crime- at least in most countries, including America, in which the Tri State Area is located in –but they had to find out where that girl was blasted to and bring her back safely, so this was no time for a heated debate, especially when you couldn't talk.

"So…she's alive?" Dipper asked.

"Of course!" Doofenshmirtz nodded.

The boy sighed in relief, asking another question "So, where is she?"

" _That_ , I don't know…" The man shrugged "She could be anywhere, really. From Mount Everest to in my pants…"

Dipper looked highly disturbed and Doof further explained.

"I had a party once and it got blasted by one of my inators that made things go someplace else, I had a 'in my pants' option and it turns out it was on that setting when the party got zapped. It was a life changing experience…one that I wish to  _never_ go through again, for as long as I live…" The scientist looked up and started backing away from the brown haired boy, a look of horror on his face. "W-wait! What are you doing? …Perry the Platypus! Keep him away from me!"

* * *

Stan laughed all the way back to his 'Scam Stand'. That'll teach the little pipsqueak…

He smiled as people that were once marveling the makeshift 'Tent of Telepathy' were all but throwing money at him to buy his things. Yep, business was booming…

…

Meanwhile, Gideon was in a rage, just about throwing everything in sight. That included taking the karaoke machine and lifting it over his head to crash to the ground in a million pieces. He kicked the floor and angrily brought out his phone, bashing the numbers in with his fingers and placing it to his ear.

* * *

**At the Mystery** S **hack.**

Gideon's father tiptoed around the Mystery Shack as quietly as he could, his started ringing and that plan of his was shot straight to hell. He stumbled, knocking over some things that shattered and struggled to catch his phone as it kept flying up in the air. Finally, he caught it and whispered hoarsely into it "Hello?" And the phone went flying once the furious voice exploded into the speakers, the man once again struggled to catch it.

"BURN IT DOWN! I WANT YOU TO BURN THE MYSTERY SHACK DOWN TO THE GROUND! THIS IS THE LAST TIME THE PINE'S WILL MAKE A FOOL OF ME! THE LAST!"

"Son…" His father warned "Think of this clearly now, are you absolutely sure about this?" When all he got was another earful of frantic and ecstatic screaming, he complied and lit a match "Well, if you really feel that way then…" He tossed the lit match on Stan's chair and watched as is slowly lit ablaze.

* * *

 

Mabel groaned and opened her eyes, sitting up to rub her aching head. She wasn't bleeding…that was a relief. She sat up further and looked around confusedly. What was she doing in her room?

And why did she smell smoke?


	5. Brink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, there you are...

Mabel looked around her room, getting up to her feet, she searched for something, or someone, anything really. She was so confused. What was she doing?

"Looking for something?" A deep British accent asked from seemingly out of nowhere.

She answered nonetheless, spinning around every which way to see where the voice came from. She didn't see anyone. "Yeah…I guess I'm looking for my brother…Uh…" Mabel still didn't see anyone in the room with her. "Where are you…?"

"Down here my flower."

Mabel looked down and instantly squealed in glee "Waddles!" She exclaimed and hugged her pig close. Something was different, and Waddles was wearing a business suit, except it was a full suit on him and not a costume just hanging from his neck.

"Walden, actually." The pig said and she held him out in front of her gasping.

"You can talk?!"

"For now." Said the pig with a snort, his well-defined accent giving him a sense of class. "Now you said you wanted to find your brother?"

"Yes, please!" Mabel nodded, smiling, no longer freaked that an animal was talking to her.

"Well I'm afraid he isn't in this world."

"Isn't in this world? Waddles, what do you mean?"

"I mean, young lady, that we are in a world separate from him and that he will never be able to access."

"But I'm in my room! That doesn't make any sense! We're still on earth!"

"Yes, but this world is metaphorical. It is all a part of the mind. It does not  _exist_."

Mabel just didn't get it "My room doesn't exist?"

Waddles sighed "You are  _dreaming_."

"Oh…but will I ever see Dipper again?" The girl sniffed.

"Oh heavens! You shall see your brother again, you just have to weld up the courage to find him in the world you come from."

"How do I get back to that world?

" _Since_ , this is a dream…" The pig hopped out of her arms to land on her bed, curling up on top of the blanket. "You must go out the same way you came…"

"So I have to blast myself with a laser again?"

" _No_! You must be at peace."

"Peace?"

"Peace of mind! Doesn't that great uncle of yours send you to school?!"

"No…"

Waddles narrowed his eyes "Just get in the bed."

Mabel complied, climbing into bed beside the pig and lying down. "Like this?"

"Indeed! Now close your eyes and find peace" He told her as she did so, and his words echoed in her brain as she lost consciousness "And remember…In order to find your brother, you must weld the bravery…and love…"

Then the world seemingly disappeared and she didn't feel the bed underneath her anymore. She still smelled smoke, but now she was resting on soft grass…

* * *

Doofenshmirtz tried desperately to pry the boy away from him, but the kid was surprisingly strong for his age. It was then that Heinz wondered that maybe he was just weak, I mean, if someone less than three feet tall and animal, could beat him up everyday then…

…This was just embarrassing! And it was worse that the boy was trying to get into his pants! Do you see how wrong that sounded?! Now imagine how it feels!

"Perry the Platypus, get him away from me before he airs out my laundry!"

The platypus ran to it, starting to pull the brown haired boy away, not only was this awkward and kind of wrong, but the animal refused to get so much as a peek at the man's 'laundry'. Whatever that meant…

Dipper pulled at the belt recklessly, tugging on the fabric as the man screamed at him to stop. He wouldn't give up. He had to save his sister from the horrors inside the fabric! "Don't worry Mabel! I'm coming! Just keep your eyes closed and don't look at anything!" He screamed at the trousers, making the doctor's cheeks turn an even darker shade of red.

Much to the scientist's relief, his nemesis was able to unlatch the boy from his pants, allowing him to stand and back away, shaking in his steps.

Perry held the boy back, holding his arms behind his back, pushing him so he now knelt on the floor, unable to stand until he stopped fighting and calmed down.

The Pines boy looked up blinking and shaking his head. "I'm sorry…I really don't know what came over me…" He said as his arms were released, standing and dusting himself off.

The man, still slightly shaking and trying to recover from the ordeal, nodded. "Okay…I accept your apology. As long as you NEVER do that again to me as long as I live, I'll be alright."

"Deal." Dipper nodded and shifted his weight back and forth on his feet "So, uh…she wasn't in there…"

"You think?!"

* * *

When Mabel woke up again, she was in a yard. She grasped the green grass underneath her, opening her eyes to look around. She was pretty sure she was in the waking world now. Oddly, she still smelled smoke…

"Wow." A happy voice said as it entered the yard through a gate "Sorry that spotlight fell on you Ferb. I wonder why that man climbed up to cut it down. He looked scared though, like he was afraid of heights…" The person trailed off. "Weird… Anyways, that show was a total bust!"

"Tell me about it." Isabella told Phineas, nodding to agree with him as the kids entered the famous backyard.

"Agreed." Baljeet confirmed.

Buford was smiling "I thought that last part was hilarious!"

"Uh, Phineas?" Isabella asked the young inventor "Who's that and why is she  _lying_ in your  _yard?"_  There was a hint of jealousy in her voice, but it was ignored by Phineas, who ran to the fallen girl's side.

"Oh my gosh!" Phineas exclaimed, concern in his voice as he helped her up by her arm.

As her eyes adjusted and her senses came back to her, Mabel's vision came into focus completely. Her heart pounded as she gazed at the one who helped her to her feet. "Wow…" She stared, a blush forming on her already blushed cheeks.

"Are you alright?" The god in front of her asked and she shook her head to clear it before answering.

"What? Yeah! I- wow…I'm fine. Just…wow…" She just stared. His eyes lit up and she could see her reflection in them. They gleamed and to her they twinkled like stars.

Isabella had seen enough, and stomped up to the plate, glaring the girl down. "What are you doing taking a nap in someone you don't knows' backyard? That's a form of trespassing, you know, and the authorities  _can_ be notified about this." She was angry, visibly, scowling at the brown haired girl until she frowned.

Mabel frowned "I woke up here. I wasn't trespassing or anything like that. I'm just as upset as you are about this."

"You are?" Isabella raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah! Waddles said I'd go to another world. He totally ripped me off! He is in  _so_ much trouble when I get home!"

"Who's…Waddles?" The black haired girl asked.

"My pet pig."

"You have a pet pig?" Isabella laughed "That's so stu-"

"That's so cool!" Phineas smiled widely. "Can he do tricks?" He was excited to hear more about the girl's exotic pet.

"I taught him to do a lot of different tricks!" Mabel smiled back, just as excited to tell all about her beloved pet pig. "My favorite one is when he…"

The two trailed off, talking about the different tricks the pig could do and Phineas offered some suggestions of improvement on some of the tricks mentioned. Ferb, Buford and Baljeet just blinked at the two. Isabella had her arms crossed, glaring profusely.

"Do you really think that would work?" Mabel tilted her head, tapping her chin with her hand as she thought, narrowing her eyes in thought. "Cuz I'm not too sure that'd work…"

"Absolutely! Perry loves treats! It works on him all the time!"

"Who's Perry?"

"Only our pet platypus, of course!"

Mabel's mouth gaped open, and she gasped loudly. "OH MY GOSH! A PLATYPUS! COME WITH ME!" She screamed, relatively fast, grabbing Phineas' hand and dragging him out of the backyard. Isabella followed first, face red with fury as she raced after them, determined to get the optimistic boy away from that optimistic, psychotic girl. Ferb shrugged and followed Isabella out the gate.

Baljeet blinked, turning to the rotund bully. "Oh dear, should we follow them?"

"Nah." Buford shrugged. "Buford's had enough today. Buford's going home to play video games or somethin'." He said as he walked out of the backyard.

Baljeet scowled, calling after him "It is improper to refer to yourself in third-person, you know!"

" _Buford doesn't care!"_

Baljeet sighed.

* * *

**Back at the Mystery** S **hack.**

Soos was still asleep and leaning when he wobbled and leaned too far, he woke up just as he hit the ground. He opened his eyes again, blinking. "Note to Soos. Sleeping outside is dangerous. Tell everyone." He said to himself as he got up, a string of smoke being sucked into his nostrils, making them twitch as he turned around. He gasped, his hat falling off his head in his shock. He was staring straight at a burning Mystery Shack. Fire covered the roof, the sign and erupted out of most of the windows. He stared, the flames crackling as wood popped and snapped from the intense heat.

"Hahaha! Burn baby!" Bud Gleeful, AKA Gideon's father laughed as he ran off into the forest.

"Hey!" Soos shouted, waving his fist as he ran after him, into the woods, completely forgetting the quick burning structure behind him.

As Soos disappeared into the woods, Robbie's car pulled up to the Shack. Wendy opened the passenger seat and her eyes immediately widened. "Woah, dude! Not cool!"

Robbie turned to see what she was gaping about. He hated coming here. That stupid kid always got in his way and stuff. So he was extra surprised when he laid his eyes upon the flaming shack, actually smiling at it for once. "Awesome!"

"Not awesome!" Wendy exclaimed, running toward her job, which was going up in flames before her very eyes. There were so many memories here, and what if someone was inside?

Robbie realized what she was doing and yanked his seatbelt off, jumping out of the car and running after her, grabbing her arm and preventing her from going inside.

"Are you crazy? That place is on fire!"

"Dipper and Mabel and Soos and my boss could be in there, Robbie! Let go!"

"I thought you hated your boss!"

She paused to think, and then started to pull away from him again. "Dipper and Mabel and Soos could be in there, Robbie! Let go!"

"Didn't they like go to a fair or somethin'?"

"A Swap Meet." Wendy glared at him, snorting. "And they were due back an hour ago! Shows how much you pay attention when I talk!"

"What _ever_!" He rolled his eyes. "Who cares if that kid's inside? I don't! He won't bug us anymore when we're hanging out!"

Wendy froze and the action made Robbie accidentally throw her behind him when he pulled on her arm. She landed on her backside, staring up at her boyfriend with a stunned expression. "Who cares?! Did you just say that?!"

"Yeah. Who cares? All he does is annoy and interrupt when I'm trying to get further with you! I'd be thrilled if he was in there!"

She narrowed her eyes, yanking her hand away from him. "And just how far did you think you were going to get with me?"

Robbie shrugged. "Third base?"

Wendy looked disgusted, throwing her hat at him. "You pig! To think I actually liked you! After today, I'd never even want to so much as  _poke_  you."

Robbie narrowed his eyes, stomping to his car. "You know what? Forget this! When you come to your senses and are on your knees,  _begging_ for me to take you back, I'll consider it. Have fun rescuing people and stuff from burning!"

"You aren't going to help me?!"

"No! You could go inside and do it yourself for all I care!" Robbie yelled and started up his car, driving away from the scene.

Wendy could just stare in disbelief and heartbreak. To think she actually  _dated_  that jerk! She was betrayed and hurt, and as she gazed at the roaring flames, she grew great fear, realizing just how much those kids meant to her. Tears weld up in her eyes as she brought out her cell phone, dialing and awaiting the answer. When the phone picked up, there was a lot of commotion in the background and childish giggling.

"Shhh! Shhh…! Keep cool, man! Keep cool!" Sheriff Blubs said to someone in the room with him and the giggling ceased slightly. "Hello? Yes, is your refrigerator running?"

"What?" Wendy asked as she put the phone closer to her ear to listen in. "Sheriff Blubs, is that you?"

"Well then you better go catch it!" The sheriff blurted and then burst into a fit of laughter, alongside Deputy Durland who laughed hysterically along with him.

"Classic!" The deputy slapped his knee "Oh! Let's prank call Old man McGucket!"

"He doesn't have a phone…"

"It's the perfect set up!"

With a giggle the line was disconnected and Wendy knew that she needed help. Biting her lip, she ran off into town, hoping to find someone that would help her, leaving the Mystery Shack alone and on the verge of burning down.

...


	6. Much Implausible Brings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch the movie reference if you will! I don't own it.
> 
> ~Natty

**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporateeeeeed!**

"I don't get what you're so mad at me for. You attempted to murder  _my_ sister. I didn't do anything to you." Dipper told the scientist.

"You don't understand why  _I'M_  mad at you?!" Doofenshmirtz argued. "You  _ATTACKED_  me and tried to  _RIP OFF_  my  _PANTS_!"

Dipper rolled his eyes and folded his arms. "I didn't  _attack_  you…"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"Nope."

"Yeah!"

"Nah."

"Yuh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh"

" _Yuh-huh!"_

"Nuh-uh!"

"Stupid kid!"

"Big nose!"

"Okay that was just mean…" Doofenshmirtz frowned and touched his nose self-consciously.

Dipper looked down, guiltily. "You're right, I'm sorry…"

Perry stared between both idiots. How'd he get stuck with three submissive and hopeless children? And one of them was in his forties! Doofenshmirtz acted like a child on a regular basis, so he was used to it. But now there were two other children in the mix, and he guessed that could be partly on him. He should have taken better precaution. Somehow. But in all honesty, how could he have expected any of this to happen today?

"Krrkrrrrkrr" The platypus chattered. They really needed to find the girl and then he could take them back to wherever they came from in safety. They'd never be safe, separated and near an older man. He wasn't implying anything anywhere, but Doofenshmirtz wasn't really a safe person. The man wasn't dangerous, it's just that danger followed him:

Everywhere.

Always.

At all times.

Everyday.

Of every waking moment.

Of life.

Ever.

Forever.

The platypus chattered again.

"I don't know what you said…" Dipper stared at the animal. "But I think it had to do with finding Mabel, right?"

Perry nodded with an affirmative chatter.

"Perry the Platypus is right...I suppose…We  _should_ find your sister or something…" Dr. Doofenshmirtz said.

Dipper smiled hopefully. "So you're gonna help us?"

"Heck no! –OUCH! OKAY! OKAY! Sheesh! Perry the Platypus, your elbows are hard! Fine, fine! I guess since I sort of, kind of, maybe,  _not REALLY_ —had something to do with her vanishing, then I SHOULD help you, okayyyyy? Is that better? Is the platypus happy now with this?"

Perry looked smug.

"Because if the secret agent platypus isn't happy, APPARENTLY the evil scientist can't be happy either!" Doofenshmirtz complained. "Why is my happiness any less valuable than yours? You think just because you can beat me up that you can get me to do whatever it is you want! Well, not only is that one hundred percent accurate! But it makes me respect you less as my nemesis, I hope you can live with that on your conscious for the rest of your life. Forever and ever and ever! This will follow you to the grave. I hope you know that—"

"Hey Heinz?"

"What? And how do you know my name?"

Dipper shrugged and pointed. "Says it on that fake plaque there, plus you kind of screamed it at us earlier."

"First of all, it's not FAKE. I  _earned_ that. And second—" Doof plucked the document from the wall and put it face down on a table. "—it's rude to look at peoples stuff without asking them."

"But it's on the wall."

"Yeah, so?"

"Obviously if it's on the wall, you want people to look at it."

"Yeah, but I don't want people looking at it and calling it fake."

"But it is fake."

" _NO_  it's not. Why would I hang a fake doctorate?"

"So people will know you're a doctor."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was satisfied with that answer. "Yes—"

Dipper cut in, blandly. "But it's fake."

Doofenshmirtz frowned, defensively. "Do you want your sister back or not!?"

"Of course I want her ba—"

"Then shut up."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Fair enough. But how are you going to even  _find_ Mabel? You said she was gone forever and that the machine zapped her somewhere in the universe that you have no idea where."

"It did."

"Then how are you going to  _FIND_ her?" Dipper was getting irritated. He  _just_ wanted his sister back. Was that too much to ask?

"With this tracking device here, see?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz showed him a palm sized remote-like gadget with a screen and small satellite. It had a bold purple stripe down the middle of it in design.

Dipper was astonished. "You have a tracking device? This whole time, you've had a tracking device?"

"Yeah, and?"

"DUDE, I WAS IN YOUR PANTS!"

"I thought I told you never to bring that up again! It was worse for me than you! You have  _NO IDEA_ what I've been through because of you."

"What  _you've_ been through?!" Dipper yelled. "YOU DESTROYED MY SISTER RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!"

"I did not  _DESTROY_ her. I just blasted her with a machine that made her molecules transport somewhere else entirely that isn't in our sight and may never be in our sight again. It's not like I stole her pony, or whatever it is stupid little girls love these days. You're lucky I didn't use my Flash-inator on you! They come with that secret agent magazine that Major Monobrow distributes all over the country. Man, those things should come with a warning label or  _something_. I should have sued, but then I forgot to, so..." Doof then remembered his point. "But you shouldn't have come to my house in the first place!"

"We didn't  _want_ to be here!" The boy argued. "Your stupid robot kidnapped us and brought us here!"

"I'M NORM." Norm said happily and Perry looked at the robot that was sitting up against a nearby wall. "HELLO PERRY THE PLATYPUS. WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME FOR TEA?"

The platypus shook his head and declined.

"ALRIGHT THEN, MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME."

Back to the arguing, Dipper glared and crossed his arms.

"Are you going to help me find my sister or not?"

"Yes! I am!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz told him. "I already located her while you were verbally assaulting me—Here! Take it and go!"

Dipper caught the device being tossed at him. It beeped, and the green dot located itself with a final persistent beep. "No way!"

"Found her?" Doofenshmirtz asked, half uncaring whether it did or not. He just wanted to consider his scheme thwarted and go to bed. Also kick everyone out of his house, including Norm for no other reason than that it would satisfy some kind of evil need in him.

"Yeah, it did." Dipper turned the remote to show them the monitor. "It says she's outside."

* * *

**Back in Gravity Falls.**

"…And that is how I, Pacifica Northwest, was born amazing." Pacifica Northwest finished off with a most satisfied sigh. "The end!" She grinned expectantly.

Out of the group of children being forced against their will to sit around her and listen to her story, only two of them clapped. The two being her friends, were way more thrilled and enthusiastic to hang around. The rest of the children looked bored and depressed.

"Ahem." Pacifica glared at them fiercely.

The children instantly started cheering, nervously and frightened for their lives.

Pacifica then looked pleased, bowing gracefully. "Thank you, thank you!"

"Hooray!" Grenda cheered in her deep and masculine voice.

Candy Chiu groaned as the flash on her camera went off. "The whole point of taking a photo is to stand still while the photo is being taken so as to take a good photo."

Grenda frowned and put down her large hands. "Sorry. I just got caught up in the moment. That was such a great story!"

"We are not even with them." Candy told her, raising the camera again to take a picture of a butterfly going by.

"Who said losers like you could sit in on my story?" Pacifica glared at them.

Candy pulled out the developing photo of the butterfly from her camera, shaking it to make the image come out quicker. "We are not sitting actually, we stand here and I wasn't. Your stories are overrated and bland for the most part."

Pacifica stamped her foot. "Well who asked you to listen anyhow? Do you see any other losers listening? Yeah, neither do I! Get lost before I banish you from my town!"

"She can do that?!" Grenda cried.

"No, she can't." Candy said. "She can't do anything to us if we're just standing here."

"I can do a lot for your information! I'm a Northwest, and I can—"

"So? I'm a Chiu. There is no difference."

Pacifica's face lit up a dark red as her anger grew.

"She's gonna blow!" Glenda ducked for cover on the ground.

"Humans can't explode when angered." Candy corrected. "That would be impossible."

"Freaks!" Pacifica screeched. "You're both freaks! You'll always be freaks! You and that Pines girl! Nothing but unpopular, un-fashioned, freaky, freaks! You'll never be popular! With your nerd brain and man-like qualities!"

Grenda looked down at the mention of herself in the verbal assault.

"—And your ugly brown hair and stupid knitted sweaters!"

"Mabel isn't here. Her and her family went to a swap meet that is out of town." Candy informed.

"Whatever!" Pacifica yelled. "You're all still a bunch of fre—"

"Crap dude!" Wendy Corduroy tripped over a branch and fell out of the bushes and into the street.

"Are you alright?" Candy helped her up by the arm.

"Yeah." Wendy sighed. "I'm cool."

"You could have broke your face!" Grenda cried loudly.

"Who do you think you are, interrupting me?" Pacifica glared. "Do you know who I am?!"

Wendy folded her arms casually. "A girl who really needs a mint? I don't know. Tell me."

"Ha Ha Ha! You got her good!" Grenda laughed and so did the other children around them.

Pacifica growled. "How dare you—!"

"I know what you mean." Wendy agreed. "How dare I just stumble out of the woods and comment that you look like a fat grape in that outfit. I should be ashamed right?"

"Ugh! Like I care what  _you_ think! You're a freak just like everyone else! Like those stupid Pines—"

"Oh crap!" Wendy yelled and grabbed Grenda and Candy's arms. "Let's go!"

"Where do you think you're going?! I wasn't done yelling at you!" Pacifica yelled after them.

"Where are we going?" Grenda asked as Wendy pulled them through bushes.

Candy struggled to hang on to her camera.

Wendy yelled out words, brokenly. "MYSTERY SHACK, FIRE, BOSS BURNING, LET'S GO!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Soos ran out of the woods just as the three girls ran in, missing them by seconds. "Hey! Come back here you thief!" He yelled after Gideon's father, Bud.

"Thief?" Bud Gleeful skid to an abrupt stop on the road. "I am many things, but a thief isn't it. What are you doing calling me that?"

Soos stopped running as well, skidding. "Oh, sorry dude. Didn't mean that. I just saw it in a movie once, this guy was chasing this other guy and he yelled that. That's all. It was a really good movie though. I just had to say it."

"No harm done."

"Aw really? Thanks guy. You're not so bad."

"Thanks." Bud Gleeful said with a smirk before pulling out a small device and flashing it.

Soos blinked as the flash disappeared and scratched the back of his head. "Uh…I forgot what I was just doing."

"I'm sure it wasn't important."

"I thought it was…" Soos said as he tried to remember what exactly he was just doing or trying to do or if he was doing anything at all. He thought he was. Why was he even in town? He thought he was supposed to be watching something while somebody was doing something. Or something…

"It's probably not important at all." Bud slapped Soos on the back, reassuring him.

"If you say so."

"Say, you want to join me for a drink? It'll be on me."

"Drink? You mean like a grape soda or something?"

"Sure. Something like that."

"Sweet! I'm in!"

Bud smiled and helped Soos up, beginning to lead him away. "Perfect…" He chuckled and smiled evilly. "Real perfect…"


End file.
